In the blink of an eye.

It has taken a few weeks for me to think about sitting down and writing this blog. Just thinking about writing it brings tears to my eyes. Perhaps the events of a few weeks ago were a premonition of things to come.

My buddy, my friend, my first horse, he was not taken by aliens, or stolen by horse rustlers, as I had feared, just a few short weeks ago. He was gone in the blink of an eye his spirit left his body and he was gone. Standing in his pasture, I imagine he laid down to rest and never opened his eyes again. The news came to me at around 8:30 a.m., November 18, 2010. Jill called to let me know that they had found my Granite in the pasture, he was gone. I could not comprehend what she was saying to me, it was not until I hung up the phone that the news took hold. My Granite, that wonderful puffy cheeked fellow was gone. It was unexpected and I was not prepared. I do not think we are ever prepared for the passing of our loved ones whether family, friend or animal. They all hurt, the are all unexpected and we all wish we had more time. Although, I wish with all my heart that I had more time with my very first horse that I loved so much, I cannot express how much this horse meant to me and how much it hurts that he is gone, he was a beautiful horse. He opened doors for me that I would never have opened or even considered going through. He taught me patience's and unconditional love. He was the master and I was the student. I will cherish him forever and will be forever grateful for all that he taught me and for all that I taught him. He is gone but will never be forgotten. I think when you love in your life and you loose the loves in your life they make cracks in your heart and each crack in your heart is a medal of honor that you have given your love to someone else and you will be measured by who you have loved and who loves you. One of my favorite quotes says it all, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" (Alfred Lord Tennyson). I will take all the cracks in my heart, because each time you love you live a richer life. We are so lucky to love and be loved and having Granite only confirms to me it is all worth it.

Life is like musical chairs, sometimes the music stops and their are no more chairs. For now we have enough chairs and life goes on and the music plays but someday the music will stop and their will be no more chairs and your turn will be over, I need to make sure I play the game to its fullest, love, live, laugh, learn, dance, sing, seek adventure, eat well, smile lots, cry sometimes and cherish every moment of it all. Until the music stops and the chairs are gone.

Granite is gone but my love and desire to own my own horse is not. He taught me many things about owning a horse and I have many things yet to learn. I will probably never learn all their is to learn. But because of him I will be better to the next horse that I am lucky enough to have come into my live.

I know that my new horse will come into my life just like Granite, a surprise, a treasure I will discover, not an obvious fit but something will click and the music will play and we will be buddies. I know Granite will be waiting at the pearly gates for me someday but for now I will watch the gates of Shiloh, through those gates will come my new adventure, my next lesson my new buddy to love. I will continue to learn as much as I can, until the day that horse comes through those gates. I will know, he will be just right. His name will be Carey in honor of the big guy that I loved so much and in honor of Tony Curtis who helped name Granite. Carey Granite. yep, his name will be Carey.

For now I will content myself with enjoying all of the wonderful horses and other creatures at Shiloh. Today I spent time with Oreo, I do not know much about her, just that she was once a wild mustang, she wears the tatoo of the BLM on her neck. I imagine she once roamed freely somewhere in the western United States. I imagine she was rounded up by the BLM and somehow ended up at Shiloh. She is sweet. What I love about mustangs is their very thick necks and somewhat stocky build. Mustangs are truly amazing and beautiful horses, how romantic to think a horse called Oreo once roamed freely with her herd somewhere out west. A living legend in the mare motel at Shiloh. We are honored. I know that this horse was saved by Jill and Sally, from what I do not know. It is certain though, she was saved and her destiny is certain, she will be loved and cared for either by Shiloh or her new owner, all the days of her life, Jill and Sally will make sure of it.

I also spent sometime today with another horse, when this horse first came to Shiloh he made me overwhelmingly sad. He looked sad and thin and he had no life in him. He was hurt in his heart, worn physically and broken in his spirit. Before he came to Shiloh he was destined for slaughter, he was marked for slaughter only, who does that? Who takes away his chance of a happy live, what cruel sick person does that. They were foiled, in a blink of an eye he was saved, saved by angels of Shiloh, Jill and Sally. This now is a beautiful horse, his body,heart and spirit are healing and he proudly parades around the arena when Elisa rides him. He is proud and happy and he is better every day. His faith in the human kind is being restored. A little massage and a rub down today is certain to seal the deal, he loved it and I was happy to give him a little love, he deserves it and I needed to help a horse who really deserves a nice friendly pat on the back and a bunch of carrots. My heart felt good after spending time today with Oreo and Gentry.

I also visited my Shiloh favorites Stretch and Vanilla, all is well with these two happy horses. Stretch was happy to have his neck scratched and eat a few carrots. Vanilla was thrilled to give me the cold shoulder, all the while eying me cautiously from a distance. A quick sniff of my grooming bag and a nod of her head in my direction is all it takes to know she loves me too.

As much as it hurts right now to go to Shiloh and not see Granite, it feels really good to go their and see everyone else. Living, loving, learning, laughing, crying, frolicking, working and all the things we and animals do to live our lives. Shiloh is a good place and I am so thankful I found it.