A Year Ago

My first horse Granite passed away a year ago this month. I finally finished a shadow box that I created in memory of him. It still makes me sad when I think of this wonderful horse, who taught me so much and I loved so dearly.

I have not forgotten this kind old soul that came into my life at just the right time. I believe we had a very special bond and I will never forget him. I am happy to say although I think of Granite often, I have a new horse, Willie. Willie and I have been together now since April 17, 2011 and he is quite a character. Willie brings a smile to my face when I see him and we are a perfect match. I am very happy to have Willie and I think he is happy to have found me.

I have had a writers block, but I think its over and I will start writing stories about my new adventures with Willie, so stay tuned.

Looking Back

Looking back on my day at the ranch, I am happy, excited and tired. As I was leaving the ranch today, I decided to stop and say hello to Moose before I left. As I wandered towards his new pasture, (he is now in the big pasture with the other horses) filling water troughs on the way. I called out to him, he did not turn but continued grazing, ok, I kept going up the line to fill the troughs. Next thing I know, there he is right up at the fence. I never knew for sure if its my hosrsie charm or the apples they think I might have. Sorry, Moose no apple buddy, I left them home in the garage by mistake. I petted him and figured he would go back to eating, he did kind of wander off, but he wandered back and followed me as I filled the water. It was nice, we chatted, I petted him and yes tears did try to spring to my eyes, and second thoughts about not adopting him, but as quickly as the thoughts and tears appeared they left. He is so cute, I bid him farewell, I will bring you an apple tomorrow big guy.

Today was one of those days that starts and ends perfectly. I spent time with Willie Nelson, yes Willie Nelson, but not the Willie Nelson of music fame but Willie Nelson of the horse type. Willie is a nice horse, I like horses that fall asleep when their legs aren't moving. Granite was like that we got a long great, I think Willie and I might get along great too. We had a nice day together, we wandered Shiloh. But not before he got to roll in the soft sand in the turn out. I have been advised that Willie, before he does anything, likes to roll in the soft sand before starting his day. I like a horse with a routine. Roll he did on both sides, that's good. Someone told me, when a horse can roll all the way over, that's a good sign. I like good signs, thanks Willie. Willie and I went for a walk and I groomed him, he was a very good boy and fell asleep during his super spa day service. Now, feet, different story, am I doomed when it comes to feet? My feet aren't so great. I put my back out trying to take the nail polish off my toes Thursday, are you really kidding me? Who puts their back out taking off their nail polish? Me. Back to Willie's feet, yeah not so great lifting up his feet, sort of ok, but not really. As I stood their, I proclaimed, really this horse came from a farrier and he doesn't lift his feet. Jill, gently advised me, it was probably not the horse but the person picking up the feet. Oh, yep that would be me. Jill helped me and we got the feet cleaned, whats a spa day without clean feet? I must work diligently at the feet thing. I think I am scared that their going to plant their giant hoof on my face, kick me in the shins, or somehow cripple me for life mentally or physically. Thought to self, spend more time doing things you do not like to do or are afraid to do, but must do, and it will get easier, that's my plan. Jill advised me I should ride Willie tomorrow, so tomorrow, I will ride Willie, speaking of those limbs, my face etc., Ok, well spend more time doing things you might be afraid to do, so your not afraid any more. that's my plan. All in all Willie is very nice, I walked him back to little vacation village and he was happy to return to continue his lunch. Willie is a 17 year old appaloosa, gelding and he is very sweet, laid back and loves to be brushed, and have his mane and tail combed. Not so happy about feet, but not bad, oh or is that my fault, yep, its my fault. I think Willie might do nicely, he reminds me of the type of horse Granite was. Willie is much smaller but that's good, compared to Moose he is a pony and maybe a hand or so smaller than Granite. I like Willie. By the way, I was completly exhausted after grooming and picking up Willies feet. Out of shape is an under statement, but I am working on it. Spend more time doing things you do not like and it will get easier, exercise defiantly falls into this category, "THINGS YOU DO NOT LIKE". Although, believe it or not, I have been exercising and I do like it. Prop up my kindle and read while I use my elliptical, not bad and time passes quickly. I actually did it for a whole 25 minutes the other day before I put my back out doing my nails. Backs fixed, so I will be back.

After all this hard work, I wandered in to the Cherry Pie area to relax ( little house and yard area used by volunteers and visitors and the breakfast club {older critters who get a special treats each morning hang out here every day)}. Sat out on the patio with Jill, Sally and fellow volunteers and horse owners, nice, chatted for a while, relaxed and then it was time to go.

Oh, by the way Aztec the young Llama has decided I look good to him. Yep, he keeps coming up behind me and well never mind. He needs to find one of his own kind that's all I can say, me and Mojo, a little pony of at Shiloh are tired of Aztecs advances. Good thing he is a big puffy ball. He always startles me and then it makes me laugh. Its a little embarrassing when your chit chatting and Sally yells look out and you turn around and he is poised to attack. Bad Aztec, but he is cute, he is young and oh well, I will continue to be wary of the silly Llama case he sneeks up on me when I am not paying attention. Sally says they are going to have him neutered, or gilded, I do not know what they call that when they are conducting this type of surgery on a Llama, but it will not come too soon for me. Actually its funny, and I like Aztec, who could not love this puffy little fellow who fell off a truck and ended up at Shiloh. I do not think it was a turnip truck, though. Oh, their goes Aztec following behind Mojo, sorry Mojo I gotta go. I love Shiloh, funny, sad, exciting, tiring, educating, I love all of it. How lucky can I be to have found this little bit of heaven. Yep, pretty lucky.

Thunder Bolts

Last week was an interesting week for me. On my way to Shiloh I sometimes listen to music and act completely ridiculous, like a young girl rocking out to cowboy music, other times I day dream and think about my blog and what I will write or just random thoughts as I drive the 50 miles to Shiloh. Last week my random thoughts lead me in two directions, one I was thinking about my doctor telling me I will loose weight and lower my blood sugar if I would just skip dessert. Really, skip dessert? Lets skip dinner instead of dessert. Dessert is nice, its good, its yummy why would you ask someone to skip dessert, really. Do not get me wrong I do not eat dessert all the time, occasionally I eat dessert, real dessert, like pie, or ice cream or cake or both but I do not make dessert every night, no no. So really, skip dessert. This unbelievable recommendation got me thinking the mountains ahead which were sprinkled with a light dusting of snow looked like chocolate lava cake dusted with powdered sugar. No, I cannot skip dessert but I will promise to limit dessert and the sweet snacks. I cannot skip dessert for the rest of my life, who makes that suggestion? After the issue of dessert was finally settled in my mind I was able to move on to more important thoughts. Moose, I love Moose, he is really beautiful, he is super cool. I have always wanted a draft horse, so much. Why have I been unable to come to a decision on the adoption of Moose? Well, in all fairness, I was sick the month of January, so I did not get out to the ranch to visit Moose as much as I would have liked too, but I have wavered back and forth about him. Teetered on, yes I want him he is awesome, and then back to no, he is so big, he sort of intimidates me. Woe is me, Lord would you help me out on this I just do not know what the right thing to do is, my feelings are so mixed up. Would I be the right person to own Moose, would I be afraid of his size forever, would I make him into a bad horse because I do not have enough training knowledge to help this young draft horse. He is good, but he needs training and a confident owner. I asked the Lord to help me, I need you Lord to help me make the right decision, and please do not be subtle, I need a clear answer to this prayer.

I arrived at the ranch excited to visit Moose, Stretch, Vanilla and all the horses and critters along with the awesome folks who are always at the ranch. Stretch and Vanilla were busy eating so I did not disturb them. Its like the tee berry shuffle if you go in their while their eating. Vanilla she walks away and then disturbs another horse who was eating then that horses moves on to another feed area and disturbs another horse, so I thought, let them eat so they do not have to play musical feed areas cause I came in the pasture to say hello. Horses are so funny,they can be standing in front of a perfectly great pile of hay and then just decide they are going to go over a push someone else off their pile of hay for no reason, its not a better pile of hay. Silly, Silly horse.
I think they just like to make sure they go it, you know, hey I am the hot shot here you move over. Sometimes that doesn't work so good if the horse they are trying to move over thinks their the hot shot. All over a pile of hay that was no different than the other pile of hay. Sort of reminds me of people I have met in my life.

I was going to visit Moose but he was in the round pen with a man and a woman I had not seen before. My neck stretched like an giraffe trying to reach the last leaf on a tree as I tried to nonchalantly check out these people who were hanging with Moose. I headed to my tack room to grab my stuff, well not sure what stuff I was going to grab since I was not going over to groom Moose. I set down his treats and proceed to find something to do. There is always something to do at the ranch so it was not hard to keep busy. I stayed well clear of the round pen in which Moose and the man and woman were hanging out. I cleaned and filled a few water buckets and spotted Sally heading my way. Sally is awesome, she is Jill's mom and a super neat person. She wandered over to chat about Moose, the folks hanging with Moose were very interested in adopting him, Oh No. Sally and I chatted and she assured me that I had first choice and that they would not let Moose go to another family unless I gave the word, that I would not be adopting him. Sally invited me to go over to the folks and chat with them. Oh no, tears welled up in my eyes and I knew at that moment I could not go over and chat. I begged out of the encounter and told Sally I would, maybe later go over and chat. Total lie, sorry Sally, I had no intentions of chatting with them, I just did not think I could hold it together. Sally is awesome she gave me my space and assured me the decision was mine whether I wanted Moose. I busied my self with filing water and chatting with some of the horses. I was filling a very large thoroughbreds water when Jill called my name, I did not hear her at first, I think I am deaf, but she finally got my attention and I wandered over to Jill who was standing with her beautiful white stead on her way to train with him in the round pen. Jill is also one of the most amazing people I have ever met, she is strong, confident and a very loving and kind person. Jill founded Shiloh with Tony Curtis and she dedicates her life to taking care of the Shiloh rescue horses and various other critters. Jill and I chatted for awhile and it was clear, like a thunderbolt that Moose was not the right horse for me. Jill makes a lot of sense, she did not tell me not to adopt Moose she just helped me separate the I want a big horse to what would be really right for me. Well I really want Granite but I cannot dig up his grave and do some voodoo dance to bring him back to life. I am so not into voodoo and the whole zombie thing. I am going to have to find another horse who I can love as much as I did him. It really did hit me like a thunderbolt I had my answer Moose is not the right horse for me, he is big and more importantly he is young he needs a strong confident loving hand who can guide him. Loving and maybe a little strong I maybe but not confident with horses yet and certainly not able to guide this young horse in too adulthood. Its settled Moose will go to the loving couple who just adored him. Not easy and not without a few tears and hug or two from Deonna and Dave who had happened by with their young horse, Sunday. They distracted me with a plan to search the pastures for a horse for me. I love Dave and Deonna, they are such neat people, they are kind and caring and they are just great. Hell. I just about love everybody at the ranch, its truly a group of wonderful folks. I wandered the pastures for awhile with Dave and Deonna. Deonna suggested a flea bitten mare (Storm Cloud), Granite was a flea bitten gelding. I love those spotty looking white horses. Ok, I am open to suggestions and I need to get my mind off Moose, so far I have been able to stay way west of Moose and his potential new owners. At the urgings of Jill, Sally, Deonna and Dave I decide to go get Storm Cloud, Sally lends me the halter and rope and in I go. I halter up Storm Cloud and we head to the tack area so I can groom and kind of just hangout with her. I really like boy horses, but hey I will give a girl a chance. On my way out of the pasture who is standing at the gate, yep Moose and the man and woman who want to adopt them. Oh dear, Elaine maintain do not cry I thought. I walked out of the pasture horse entail and their they stood, I was not going to be able to avoid them. I am so glad they found me, wow, talk about some super nice young kids. We chatted for awhile, laughed a little and by the time we were done talking I was so happy that they were adopting Moose. Ok, I get it, no question in my mind the decision should be, Elaine do not adopt Moose, these guys are so perfect for him. The guy is young, he's a marine his wife is so sweet. I felt a huge relief I could let Moose go, he was not right for me and totally right for them. Good news, he will stay a Shiloh so I can give him an apple anytime. Don't you just love it when your prayers are answered so clearly.

I bid farewell and walked over by Jill thinking yeah this is a nice horse she had been so sweet standing quietly while I chatted and nudging me a little, so sweet. The first thing Jill says to me "that's not Storm Cloud" oh, I reply, she tells me the horse I have is sort of a problem horse, really, she was so nice. Jill advises she is a trickster, she acts nice and then when you least expect it she turns on you. Wow, I could not get her back to the pasture fast enough, wanted to make sure she did not turn on me. I ran like a scared chicken, well I tried to keep some dignity, but back to the pasture this old girl went. I quickly located the real Storm Cloud and spent a few mintues trying to get her haltered up, wait a minute the other horse came quietly, Storm Cloud had an entourage of buddies , they really did not want her leaving the pasture. I finally got her out and headed to the turn outs. Her pasture mates were whining and make all kinds of commotion behind me and Ms. Storm Cloud was not happy to be taken from them. We finally got to the turn out and before I could get the rope off her she shot to the other side of the turnout and proceeded to run around like she was on fire. Wow, this is the calm horse who was slightly lame, she's been putting on a good act. Pretending to be lame so she could stay in the pasture, who is the real trickster here I thought. Now she is running full on in the turn out with the lead rope flying around her legs. I stood perplexed, what can I do before she trips her self up on the rope. Think, think, light bulb, I wandered down to the other side of the turn out where she was racing back and forth, yes I was on the outside of the fence. I may not be horse savvy but I am no dumbie. I managed to get her to calm down and I had a hold of her rope, I was on the other side of the fence. Now what do I do, think, think. Lead her around, no I cannot do that she will just yank the rope away again. Think, think, I swear sometimes I am just not the sharpest tool in the box. A fellow Shiloh volunteer who was riding in the turnout next to me says, why don't you just unhook the rope. Really, are you kidding me wow, big duh on my part. I thank my friend for their much needed advice and stammered about, why didn't I think of that. I was the totally obvious solution to the problem. Oh well sometimes I make things more difficult than they need to be. Note to self, do not leave your common sense at home when going to the ranch.

Well this slightly lame calm horse had really brightened up and she ran like the wind. Jill told me, well she has not been handled lately and has spent a huge amount of time with the other horses and she would calm down. All I could think about was, how I am I going to get this horse back to the pasture, she running like crazy back and forth. I thought about just dismantling the fence on the turn out and opening the gate which was directly across and she could run right in. Well, I do not really have any tools to dismantle the fence, so I need to walk her back around, but I was not relishing the thought of doing this. Of course, as always Jill came to my rescue and asked Sabina to help me and help me Sabina did and Storm Cloud was delivered safely to her pasture. We were all surprised that Ms Storm Cloud was so popular a good five or six horses were waiting for her and they all ran around the pasture with her for a good five minutes before they all settled back down. Now, when I went to get Storm Cloud originally I swear she was asleep, complete docile, looked like an old mare with not much spunk. The horse we put back in the corral was not an old mare with no spunk she was awesome full of spirit, tail held high, she certainly was the trickster, no way that horse is lame I thought. She probably was lame but she surely is not lame now.

My search goes on, Jill promises to help me find just the right horse and you know what, she will. It was a fabulous day. I said goodbye to Moose who I now know 100% has been matched with the right family. Jill is very good at that. I had a great time chatting with Jill, Sally and friends. I love the ranch, life's lessons are learned, we laugh we cry and above all we help friends four legged and two legged.

I gave Moose a hug and his treats and headed home. Feeling good about my day at Shiloh. All is right.

Deonna suggest I check out Willie Nelson not the singer the appaloosa. Maybe he is the one, I want to spend some time with him and we will see. I will keep you posted.

Back in the Saddle Again

Finally, back to the ranch on Friday after such a long time away. I think I started smiling at Durango and the Beltway and grinned all the way to the ranch. Arriving at the ranch was great, it has been so long and I was so happy to be their. Quickly exiting my truck, throwing on my shoes, I made a beeline for Stretch. I have to check on my other big guy. He really is #1 big guy, really love this old boy. He was eating his morning meal in the pasture next to his favorite girl Vanilla. I climbed through the fence, not over, too out of shape to go over the top. Note to self start exercising, NOW. I walked through the pasture and up to Stretch, he looks good and Vanilla actually did not leave when I arrived. She has been more friendly lately. Wow, two years of getting to know this horse and she finally accepts me, could it be. We will have to wait and see. I bid farewell to my big buddies and head for the other big boy, Moose. A quick stop at my tack room to drop off my stuff and off I go to see Moose. On the way I notice a formidable foe, Salsa is on the loose, can a girl not catch a break? This means I will have to take some detours in order to avoid this sassy little donkey. Oh, I feel like Moose did last week, a man eating donkey laying in wait for me. This donkey has terrorized Ben on several occasions not to mention my self. Ben and I both have had to take full on running leaps into corrals when this pesky beast decides to attack. He is such a naughty donkey, but I still love him, even if he has predator attitude towards humans. After my unplanned detour I have finally reached Moose's corral. I really just have to stand their and look at him, he really is a fine looking horse. I must admit he is a little intimidating, all that size. Wow. Today is the day I learn a valuable lesson. I started out a bit apprehensive, he makes me nervous, I am unsure of him, I do not know his personality and he is nothing like Granite. He is young, he is large or should I say enormous and we have not spent much time getting to know each other. I entered his corral and patted him and chatted for a bit. He was eating and when Moose eats that's all he does, he just eats. I decided to groom him, he was looking a little messy. Off to my tack room I go, couple of minor detours to avoid Salsa, apologizes to the breakfast club, who were anxiously waiting for their special treats, which I did not have, and I have my stuff to take care of Moose's grooming needs. I put on his halter, which in its self is not easy, he stands probably 18 hands tall, luckily he is quite cooperative, to a point. Its the rope halter so you know how many times I have turn that around to figure out which way it goes, yes now only two or three, down from the old thirty or so times. I forgot how to tie the knot so I struggled with that for a minute. I really did not get the halter on tight enough but Moose was over it, he can only stand to wait so long before he wants to finish his meal. His former owner was probably way more savvy than me. I started his grooming, its a tall order brushing down this big guy. Half an hour later he is all brushed, not his tail or mane though, just his body. Eric and Sharil invite me to bring Moose in to the turn out with their horses. We talk about my fears regarding Moose, could I be a good owner to this really great horse, they give me good advise. The thought of not owning Moose makes me really sad and brings tears to my eyes, I think he is right for me but I am apprehensive. Oh dear God, great, yes I want to bring Moose to the turn out, but last week there was the killer llama escapade and I am a little unsure of myself and my ability to control Moose. I well, I would not really restrain him, cause that would be dumb, but control, make him know I am in charge. Well, cannot win any wars if you do not enter the battle, so here I go. I am apprehensive, I hate to admit it but he intimidates me and I know I cannot let this happen, he will sense it and react. I put on his rope and go all the way around the turn out to bring him to the gate. I did not take the short cut because I am intimidated and I guess afraid to cut through City Center in case something goes wrong. I opt for the safer long way around, all though their could be lurking killer llamas, I will have to take my chances. He is a little pushy on the way, he wants to run me over, I think he knows I am nervous and inexperienced. We arrive at the turn out, and I open the gate and let him in, oops,wrong turn out its the other one, I retrieve the big guy and put him in the right one. By this time, Iceman and Sawyer are in the turn out and Cochise is on his way. Sharil and Eric get Moose running and kicking its awesome to see. The other horses, for lack of a better word, have expressions of "Holy Shit" is that a horse? He is so much larger than the group its crazy. He is not much for hanging with the herd and insists on hanging out in the corner, pretending he is thirsty. I think he was shy and wanted to be invited to hang with the herd. Sharil got him moving but only for a little bit. I don't think draft horses are much into running around. He spent most of his time hanging by me at the water trough. After a while I wanted to see if he was hanging with me or hanging at the water trough, so I walked along the fence towards the gate, he quickly followed and when I got to the gate he opened it and left. What the hell, I was shocked, we had not chained the gate, it was closed, but Mr. smarty pants opened it with his nose and left. I was standing their completely amazed, what did he just do. Eric hollered over to me to go get him, hello, Elaine wake up I thought, Moose just left. I walked over with a rope to get him and he left again, ok, I am intimidated, so what do intimidated people do when they don't think they can do something? Eric, Eric, can you help me, its embarrassing, what a wimp I am. Eric, the nice guy that he is walked over to get him. Moose decided to walk away through the mare motel, greeting as he went, Eric caught up with him and brought him back. Lesson One, you will never get anywhere if you allow your fears to over come you. Eric handed me the rope, with some advise about not letting him walk all over me, I indicated I would take him back to his corral and I am not taking the long way either, I need to buck up and take it like a man. Heart pounding, rope in hand I set off. Moose is pushing it he knows I am uncomfortable, he walks a little too fast. Moose does not do this for a more experienced person, he is well behaved, but like all horses you have to show them you are a leader or they will take advantage. A few pointers from Eric and I am heading to City Center, I know I am nervous cause I feel my heart beating, come on I am not new to this, I have been around two years now, get a grip. Eric and Sharil walk back with me and I have Moose under control. I have a short hold on his halter and I am swinging the rope in front of us to stop him from trying to move too quickly. He almost steps on me, oh that would have hurt, but all in all by the time we get to the corral and after a photo session thanks to Eric and Sharil we make to the corral. Sharil had me stop to take a deep breath and find the Zen. I did and I feel much better. I have allowed Mooses size to intimidate me, respect it I should, be intimidate I should not. I spent the rest of the afternoon, in his corral, getting to know this gentle giant. I combed his tail and mane and man did he look good when I was done. I ate lunch with him. He tried several times to eat my sandwich, dude, horses do not eat chicken sandwiches. I gave him some of my apple, he spat it back at me, it was a small gala, he evidently does not like small galas, he went through some weird, Ew, Ew, contortions and reproduced the apple on the ground. I did not give him a whole apple either, not sure what that was about, but he did enjoy the Fiji apple I offered next. It was nice hanging out with him. We had visitors to the party, two mini donkeys and Charlie, they shared what was left of the gala apple and all was well. I cannot think of a better group to have lunch with, light on conversation, cause I was the only one talking and they were all listening, very nice.

It was a great day, Lesson #1 conquered. It will take sometime but as I bid farewell to Moose and the ranch, I know next time it will be easier.

Charlie walked me to the gate, I like Charlie and I think he likes me. We stopped to visit Mama and baby, Mama is a super nice horse. I had no treats for her but she just wanted to hang out and baby was their too, both of them eager for attention. She shooed Charlie off, she is a good mother. Charlie did not care he wandered over to the golf cart and proceeded to rummage through the empty bins and bags for a tasty treat. I hung out with Mama and baby for awhile, Mama was just so sweet, she will make someone a great horse and she is a really good Mama. The baby is pretty cute too. This horse was a horse that was found wandering in the desert, poor thing was so thin when they found her. We had no idea she was pregnant when they found her, but when she simply would not put on weight and kept getting rounder it was clearly this mama was going to have a baby. I am so glad Jill found her and took her in. Its really a miracle how the lost horses of the desert always find their way to Shiloh. Irresponsible owners dump them thinking that because they are horses they can survive in the desert, wow, there are some really dumb, cruel people out their. I bid farewell to Mama and baby and set off for home, as I pass Charlie he does not even look up, he is busy rummaging through the empty cans and bags, what a funny pony, what a great place.

Moose and Me

Its been several weeks since my last adventure update. I have not been to my favorite place on earth for several weeks due to an unforeseen bout with pneumonia, which snuck up on me like a thief.

A few weeks ago a very exciting thing happened at Shiloh, the long awaited draft horse Moose was delivered by his owner who could no longer care for him. Oh yes, imagine my excitement when Jill told me of this big boy. What a wonder he his 18 hands and the most lovely horse. He is not a Granite and no horse will ever replace him in my heart but do I dare dream the Moose will share my heart along side Granite. He is something else, very, very pretty with a long flowing tail that has streaks of gold through it and a puffy little Afro due in the front, with his long and lushes mane. (love those pretty manes and tails to comb). He is sweet and somewhat gentle for his massive size. I had the wonderful treat of grooming him and just getting to know him. Jill and Sally invited me to take him for a walk and to turn him out for a run. I was very happy to accept this task. He bowed his head beautifully to let me put on his halter and off we set. We took a quick right turn out of his corral and another quick right and we were on our way. Another turn to the right and heading for the turn out, when what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a Llama. Inca was sitting in the sand sunning herself, minding her own business. Moose however, has never seen a llama and by the look in his eye he thought it was some prehistoric horse eating creature laying in wait to eat him. What happened next was completely predictable if you are a horse and you think there is a horse eating llama laying in wait to make you his first meal of the day. Yes, all 1,600lbs +/- of giant horse "FREAKED". Having been well trained by Jill, Sally, Dave and various other horse people I did what you have to do when a giant decides he is leaving town, let go. Oh yes I did, I let him go and off he trotted to the water trough just outside the bachelor pad, were he quickly grabbed a drink and began a nice introduction to the horses on the other side of the fence. Guess the llama was no longer a threat or the thought of having a horsie chat with some new friends was more inviting than freaking out about a funny faced llama. Funny how horses one second complete freak out and run around like a chicken and then a few seconds later are just standing their like nothing happened. Moose was probably embarrassed, after he realized he freaked out over a llama and was just playing it casual, as if to say, oh I was just kidding I knew that was llama. Silly boy. I snatched up his rope, let him finish his drink and the introductions to future pasture mates and took him back to his corral, enough for one day. Day one with Moose, llamas are not horse eating monsters. Back to his corral safe and sound, a little treat, some chit chat, a few pets and it was time for me to go. I did not want to go, I could have stayed their all day just standing on the fence looking at this big beautiful sweet face horse. A giant draft, the horse I have always wanted to have standing before me and maybe, just maybe he could be mine.

Jill told me she would evaluate Moose to see if we could be a match. I need a calm horse, one that does not need an enermous amount of training and one that fits for me. Later in the week Jill sent me the email that would make me grin from ear to ear. Yes, she though Moose and I would be compatible. I was so excited I could not sit still and I think I went straight to face book updated my status, sent a couple of text messages and relished in the thought that this amazing horse could be mine.

Its a bitter sweet place, I miss Granite in a huge way and find myself thinking why couldn't I have been able to have him longer, he was so awesome and he meant so much to me. I miss him like crazy, even as I type this now tears stream down my face. I just love that horse more than words can express. Thats the bitter. The sweet, Moose is very cool, very sweet, I just look at him and am amazed, he is a whole different horse from Granite, he is young, he is huge, he is a challenge, he is what I had always thought was beautiful in horses. Those big giants are so amazing and to imagine he could possibly be my horse if all works out, is so exciting and scary. Me and him will have many hurdles, we have passed one, the llama, on to the next.

A little lost

As much as I love to go to Shiloh a part of me feels very sad when I go their. Sad because Granite is not their. This is a sadness that will pass, although I will never forget this wonderful horse it will get easier to go to Shiloh and walk in the pasture. For now, I do not walk in Granite's old pasture. I feel as though something is missing, in me and it changes the way I feel and write about Shiloh, like a hole. I will have to figure out how to deal with this. Almost feels like its meaningless to write this story without Granite. This too shall pass their are many wonderful animals and people at Shiloh, Granite just took up a lot of my thoughts and now I need to move on.

I find my self a little lost at Shiloh, there is plenty to do but for some reason I sort of wander. I find my way to Stretch, he is always happy to see me and welcomes the attention, he follows me like a big pup, he really is a super cool horse. Stretch and Vanilla were the first horses that I fell in love with at Shiloh. Vanilla because she is a beautiful white draft horse and Stretch because he is a gentle giant. How lucky his owner was to have him, he really is amazing. Whenever I am at Shiloh I always find myself drawn to Stretch and I love spending time with him. He returns my grooming of him with gentle nudges. He will follow me all over the pasture, it really is a wonderful feeling to have him follow me as if I was his leader. Now, Vanilla his pasture mate, is not quite so friendly. This week she was a little more friendly than usual, as I was able to get within a foot of her. Silly, Silly horse all the love you are missing out on because you want to play the silly mustang game. Oh well, hopefully by spring she will let me groom her again. I was to a point with Vanilla that she would allow me to brush her down, but for some reason she will no longer allow me to get that close. I have plenty of time and with the help of Stretch perhaps she will allow me to give her a good brushing.

A few weeks ago I got to clean out my first stall, yep, I have never cleaned up a stall and Jill was short a man and asked if I could help. I was very happy to assist. I worked hard and cleaned up a few stalls, first it was Iceman, he is a wild mustang, not so wild anymore, just cautious of people. I entered his stall and we did the dance, you move this way, I move that way. It worked perfectly, he didn't trample me and I did not accidentally through manure at him or accidentally jab him with the rake shovel. The rake shovel is like a rake but its turned up on the end so that you can pick up the manure and toss it out of the stall. Quite ingenious. My next stall housed an Icelandic pony who's name I have forgotten, he also did the dance and all went well. Next it was Carefree and she is just that, no dance here, she ignored me completely as she munched on her lunch. On to Oreo, Oreo is a nice horse and has recently found a new home. She is a beautiful black mustang with some white markings, thus the name Oreo. Oreo is very sweet and I really enjoyed cleaning her stall and making friends with her. Their really is an art to cleaning the stalls. My stall cleaning did not look nearly as nice as the guys, they leave nice rake marks and its really spotless when they are done, mine not so good but I tried. I enjoyed it because while you are working away you can think and sort of chat with the horses. It was good.

Jill is helping me with some horsemanship lessons,my first lesson included running Moses around the round pen, although I am not sure if it wasn't vice a versa. By the time I was done with that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I completely out of shape. Ran out of steam a couple of times while trying to get Moses to move. You cannot just stop you have to get it done, so I bucked up and got Moses moving, not before he tried to kick me, but being light on my feet I avoided the attempt. Well not exactly because I was light on my feet, I was just out of reach. I did run him around and he did join up, so that was a great accomplishment. Mosses has been in the pasture awhile eating hay and hanging out so he saw no reason whatsoever to run around a round pen being chased by a lunatic. Next it was the saddle, it is important to put the saddle in the right place, you can hurt the horse and yourself if you do not do this right. By the end of my lesson I felt quite accomplished.

I am ready for my new guy to come through those gates, do you think anyone would mind if I just stood their tapping my feet till he arrives. Guess I cannot do that, I will get in the way, I have a family and a job. I will have to be patient. Till my new horse arrives, whom ever that will be, I will help out around Shiloh, take lessons, hang out with Stretch and try to get closer to Vanilla and occasionally remember the times I had with my very best horse friend Granite.

In the blink of an eye.

It has taken a few weeks for me to think about sitting down and writing this blog. Just thinking about writing it brings tears to my eyes. Perhaps the events of a few weeks ago were a premonition of things to come.

My buddy, my friend, my first horse, he was not taken by aliens, or stolen by horse rustlers, as I had feared, just a few short weeks ago. He was gone in the blink of an eye his spirit left his body and he was gone. Standing in his pasture, I imagine he laid down to rest and never opened his eyes again. The news came to me at around 8:30 a.m., November 18, 2010. Jill called to let me know that they had found my Granite in the pasture, he was gone. I could not comprehend what she was saying to me, it was not until I hung up the phone that the news took hold. My Granite, that wonderful puffy cheeked fellow was gone. It was unexpected and I was not prepared. I do not think we are ever prepared for the passing of our loved ones whether family, friend or animal. They all hurt, the are all unexpected and we all wish we had more time. Although, I wish with all my heart that I had more time with my very first horse that I loved so much, I cannot express how much this horse meant to me and how much it hurts that he is gone, he was a beautiful horse. He opened doors for me that I would never have opened or even considered going through. He taught me patience's and unconditional love. He was the master and I was the student. I will cherish him forever and will be forever grateful for all that he taught me and for all that I taught him. He is gone but will never be forgotten. I think when you love in your life and you loose the loves in your life they make cracks in your heart and each crack in your heart is a medal of honor that you have given your love to someone else and you will be measured by who you have loved and who loves you. One of my favorite quotes says it all, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all" (Alfred Lord Tennyson). I will take all the cracks in my heart, because each time you love you live a richer life. We are so lucky to love and be loved and having Granite only confirms to me it is all worth it.

Life is like musical chairs, sometimes the music stops and their are no more chairs. For now we have enough chairs and life goes on and the music plays but someday the music will stop and their will be no more chairs and your turn will be over, I need to make sure I play the game to its fullest, love, live, laugh, learn, dance, sing, seek adventure, eat well, smile lots, cry sometimes and cherish every moment of it all. Until the music stops and the chairs are gone.

Granite is gone but my love and desire to own my own horse is not. He taught me many things about owning a horse and I have many things yet to learn. I will probably never learn all their is to learn. But because of him I will be better to the next horse that I am lucky enough to have come into my live.

I know that my new horse will come into my life just like Granite, a surprise, a treasure I will discover, not an obvious fit but something will click and the music will play and we will be buddies. I know Granite will be waiting at the pearly gates for me someday but for now I will watch the gates of Shiloh, through those gates will come my new adventure, my next lesson my new buddy to love. I will continue to learn as much as I can, until the day that horse comes through those gates. I will know, he will be just right. His name will be Carey in honor of the big guy that I loved so much and in honor of Tony Curtis who helped name Granite. Carey Granite. yep, his name will be Carey.

For now I will content myself with enjoying all of the wonderful horses and other creatures at Shiloh. Today I spent time with Oreo, I do not know much about her, just that she was once a wild mustang, she wears the tatoo of the BLM on her neck. I imagine she once roamed freely somewhere in the western United States. I imagine she was rounded up by the BLM and somehow ended up at Shiloh. She is sweet. What I love about mustangs is their very thick necks and somewhat stocky build. Mustangs are truly amazing and beautiful horses, how romantic to think a horse called Oreo once roamed freely with her herd somewhere out west. A living legend in the mare motel at Shiloh. We are honored. I know that this horse was saved by Jill and Sally, from what I do not know. It is certain though, she was saved and her destiny is certain, she will be loved and cared for either by Shiloh or her new owner, all the days of her life, Jill and Sally will make sure of it.

I also spent sometime today with another horse, when this horse first came to Shiloh he made me overwhelmingly sad. He looked sad and thin and he had no life in him. He was hurt in his heart, worn physically and broken in his spirit. Before he came to Shiloh he was destined for slaughter, he was marked for slaughter only, who does that? Who takes away his chance of a happy live, what cruel sick person does that. They were foiled, in a blink of an eye he was saved, saved by angels of Shiloh, Jill and Sally. This now is a beautiful horse, his body,heart and spirit are healing and he proudly parades around the arena when Elisa rides him. He is proud and happy and he is better every day. His faith in the human kind is being restored. A little massage and a rub down today is certain to seal the deal, he loved it and I was happy to give him a little love, he deserves it and I needed to help a horse who really deserves a nice friendly pat on the back and a bunch of carrots. My heart felt good after spending time today with Oreo and Gentry.

I also visited my Shiloh favorites Stretch and Vanilla, all is well with these two happy horses. Stretch was happy to have his neck scratched and eat a few carrots. Vanilla was thrilled to give me the cold shoulder, all the while eying me cautiously from a distance. A quick sniff of my grooming bag and a nod of her head in my direction is all it takes to know she loves me too.

As much as it hurts right now to go to Shiloh and not see Granite, it feels really good to go their and see everyone else. Living, loving, learning, laughing, crying, frolicking, working and all the things we and animals do to live our lives. Shiloh is a good place and I am so thankful I found it.